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The Greg Jones Blog
Nov. 26th, 2008
07:43 am - We've Moved!
The Greg Jones Blog, including all prior postings and reader comments, has been moved to http://gregjonesorg.wordpress.com/
Nov. 24th, 2008
10:54 pm - Best Story from Sunday
From all the church activities in which I participated yesterday, I must say that the best story I heard was one that I shared with the families that I visited as part of the LDS Church's home teaching program. Our local leaders want to strengthen families in the our area, so we who are home teachers were all supposed to give lessons from a Church-wide training session that was broadcast in February 2008 (For the materials presented at the event see http://www.lds.org/library/display/0,49
Now, here is the story, which Sister Beck shared in the course of a roundtable discussion.
Sister Beck
I was raised in a big family. My parents had a lot of children. And that means there were a lot of opinions and a lot of work to care for this family. But they used the tool of family home evening to really teach us. Every week we sang “Love at Home.” That was the opening hymn. And I remember as a teenager thinking it was really tiresome to sing that hymn every week.
Elder Oaks
Sometimes that hymn is sung through clenched teeth.
Elder Holland
And by assignment.
Sister Lant
Sometimes it’s the mother’s clenched teeth.
Sister Beck
It was more a belief than a practice. But every week, Dad would say, “Now we’ll sing our opening hymn, ‘Love at Home.’ ” And when I was about 14 or 15, in that age when you question everything, I asked my father, “Why do we have to sing this hymn every week? There are a lot of good hymns in the hymnbook we could sing.”
And he looked at me very sternly, and he said, “When you have learned lesson 1, I will teach you lesson 2.” And I don’t know what lesson 2 was; we didn’t ever get there, but I have to say that after the passage of many years, I look at my family, and we do love one another. We did, somehow, over the years, learn to love each other because that was lesson 1 my parents wanted to teach. They didn’t try to cover everything. They knew if they started with that, it would work.
10:44 pm - Yao Ming Nation
"Yao Ming (Chinese: 姚明; pinyin: Yáo Míng; born September 12, 1980) is a professional basketball player who plays for the Houston Rockets of the National Basketball Association (NBA). He is currently the tallest player in the NBA, at 2.29 m (7 ft 6 in)." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yao_Ming
"LOSING one’s home is a sadly common experience in these dark economic days, but it normally happens at an individual, rather than a national, level. The residents of the Maldives, however, face collective homelessness as a result of rising sea levels, which are expected eventually to engulf the 1,200-island nation, whose highest point is 2.3 metres above sea level. Faced with this alarming prospect, the country’s new president, Mohamed Nasheed, has come up with an equally dramatic solution: put aside some of the Maldives’ tourism revenues to buy another homeland." (Leaders - - A modest proposal - - O give me a home... - - Nov 13th 2008 - - The Economist print edition - - The Maldives’ president has come up with a solution to the world’s problems [http://www.economist.com/opinion/displ
Nov. 23rd, 2008
09:15 pm - Noah - - The Commercial
Tonight a speaker at an LDS fireside shared this commercial that gives a clever take on the way Noah gathered the animals for the ark: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VN4rBq6
Nov. 21st, 2008
05:18 pm - Bond. James Bond.
While perusing slashdot.org today I came upon a most interesting article about a 60-year-old English woman who has lost the ability to recognize voices. She hears a voice, but cannot tell whose voice it is. With one exception . . . See http://bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com/archive/20
Nov. 19th, 2008
10:20 pm - Chinese Football: Fate of the Founder
Tonight I fulfilled my Scoutmaster duties by participating in the meeting of Troop 797. For weeks the Scouts had been clamoring for a game of what they call "Blackout Football," so tonight we relented. The Scouts divide into two teams, go to separate ends of the room, the lights are turned out, then an eraser is thrown into the middle of the room. The team that finds the eraser and uses it to touch the other team's wall scores a touchdown - - no walking or running or standing is allowed, all must crawl. I played this same game as a Scout, but I believe we called it "Midnight Hockey" or something like that.
As I contemplated this form of football, I began to reflect on another great indoor sport - - Chinese Football. After a few searches on the Internet, I came upon the tragic story of the sport's founder. This great man certainly made a difference in the lives of my classmates and me. His invention brightened those winter days when our school recesses were held indoors. Alas, he fell victim to risks inherent in the very game he invented, as explained at http://www.sportsmansdaily.com/Larry_By
Nov. 18th, 2008
05:50 pm - Human Wrecking Balls
A few years ago, when I was serving as an assistant scoutmaster, I was at summer camp with the scouts when one of them proclaimed “Hannah Montana is hot!” I had never heard of her before, and realized that these young scouts gave me a window into current pop culture. A few weeks ago, on a ride home from an activity with the scouts, one of them mentioned a show called Human Wrecking Balls. Fascinating. They were featured in a USA Today article (See http://www.usatoday.com/printedition/li
Nov. 17th, 2008
09:03 pm - Choices
Color of bandage after donating blood - - Anything but pink. Possibly consider collegiate loyalty (e.g., Red for Utah, Blue for BYU).
Seat on an airplane - - The aisle seat gives the best access to the bathroom, best access to food and drink from the flight attendant, the quickest exit on landing, the quickest exit in an emergency. These benefits trump the window seat benefits of minimal interaction with other passengers and a possibly interesting view. The middle seat, if used conventionally, has no upside for a solo traveler.
Paper or plastic bags at the grocery store - - Plastic, because they generally don't tear when used to carry heavy groceries, and I can carry 6 plastic bags or more in each hand by bunching the handle portions of the bags together, thereby limiting the number of trips between my car and my condo when I unload the groceries. Paper is best when I later need to use the paper for something else, such as making a book cover for a book I want to read at the gym.
Seat at church, LDS Singles Fireside, Utah County, Utah - - The second or third pew on either side of the chapel, seated against the wall, allows others to sit on the pew as well, offers an unimpaired view of the speaker, and avoids the distraction of possible chatting and milling about in the overflow rows. After the talk, an agile individual can make a quick exit out one of the front side doors, and get to the refreshments before the line is too long.
Parking space - - Closest parking space to the entrance, but never at the end of an aisle, so as to reduce the likelihood of the car being hit by a car turning corners or a runaway shopping cart - - surround your car with a defensive perimeter of other people's cars, and live with the impact of car doors hitting the side of your car when they are opened. Don't park off in the boondocks with no cars around you - - you want your car to fade into the midst of other cars, not to call out for special attention. If at night make sure you park close to a light to reduce the likehlihood of someone vandalizing your car, but reduce that likelihood more by having a very boring car with not leaving any valuables inside the car that would be in plain view.
Treadmill at Gold's Gym, Orem, Utah - - One of the aisle treadmills on the first row of treadmills. These are typically in good working condition, have less of a crowded feeling, are close to the paper towel dispenser, and are closer than the treadmill rows further back.
Seat in a fast food restaurant - - A seat against a wall so you can see the entrance and no one can sneak up behind you.
Bench press at Gold's Gym, Orem, Utah - - The northeast bench is closest to the treadmills, the workout station I use immediately prior to using the bench. The bench is also firm and, for me, the easiest to use. The second choice is the first bench further south that is for metal plates, which is of similar quality, but located 20 to 30 feet more distant from the treadmills.
Seat in the company cafeteria - - A seat visible from the cashier's position so your fellow diners can find you, but not as visible to other diners so other employees won't see you and hit you up for work.
Shirt to wear to work - - Which shirt is ironed, which shirt least resembles the shirt I wore yesterday, which shirt if not ironed will, if worn, most quickly during the day look like a shirt that was ironed but has become wrinkled merely by common daily use.
Seat in church, LDS Sacrament meeting, Grandview Ninth Ward, Provo, Utah - - The back row of overflow offers cushioned chairs, easy entry and exit, and avoids the awkward situation of a single person taking part of a pew in the main part of the chapel, but may have more distractions and noise.
Shirt to wear, Church - - White shirt.
The News Hour (PBS) or The O'Reilly Factor (Fox) - - If I have time and really want to learn, or have O'Reilly fatigue, The News Hour. If I don't have time, or just want to "veg" and be entertained, or have Obama fatigue - - The O'Reilly Factor.
Suit - - Whichever suit is easiest to match with a tie, is less wrinkled or dirty than the other suits (well, the other suit, singular), and has not been worn more than 12 Sunday's in a row.
Milk container in a plastic bag or not at the grocery store - - If purchased in conjunction with a large amount of groceries, in a plastic bag to maximize the amount of groceries I can carry from the car in one trip (See above).
Park your car nose first or back in - - Nose first. Supposedly studies show that when you park by backing in, you reduce the likelihood that you'll have an accident when backing out of your parking stall when you leave. Such studies, which I have not attempted to substantiate, don't sway me - - backing in takes extra time, and I'm not convinced that there is not a corresponding increase of risk arising out of the backing in process, and other drivers are often inconvenienced waiting for the other car to execute the backing in maneuver. The back in approach also does not withstand the "Kantian Imperative" (the reference is to the philosopher Immanuel Kant, who to my knowledge never had occasion to park a car, but who wrote a lot of interesting and enduring things), which is that a proposition is not valid unless it holds true when universalized - - if every driver started backing in when parking, sheer chaos would result.
Tie - - Whatever matches the suit.
Seat in church, adult leader at an LDS Deacon's Quorum Meeting, Grandview Ninth Ward, Provo, Utah - - Any seat in the middle of where the deacons (ages 12 and 13) typically sit.
"Super size" a meal or not at a fast foot restaurant - - Generally not if the food is just for me, possibly yes if I am extremely hungry or am about to burn a large number of calories (e.g., after or before a big hike) or if I am sharing the meal with others.
Seat in church, LDS Sunday School, Grandview Ninth Ward, Provo, Utah - - The front row is a good place for a single person to find a seat and make a quick exit at the end of the meeting.
Ginger or Mary Ann - - Mary Ann, Ginger's equal or better in terms of "features that appeal to the superficial man" (to borrow a phrase from Seinfeld), great personality, cheerful, lower maintenance, a farm girl's work ethic, and she can bake an endless supply of coconut and banana cream pies when stranded on a desert island.
All things being equal, spend money or save money - - Save money.
Spend more time on this blog entry or not - - Not, I've gotten too carried away already, but I may be back . . .
Nov. 16th, 2008
04:02 pm - Occupational Hazard
In my efforts to lift the spirits of my vast readership through humor, at times I pass on unique observations or insights, never before tested on another human. In doing so, I subject myself to the risk that some readers will not appreciate the humor, whether because of their own subjective perspectives or because I have managed to write something that is objectively unfunny. But for the good of my readership I press on, even in the face of an incalculably greater risk, the risk of success, as illustrated by a clip on youtube titled "The Funniest Joke In The World, Vintage Edition." (See http://www.youtube.com/results?search_q
Nov. 4th, 2008
09:11 pm - Fill In The Blank
________________________________________ (select from the list below) said: "“I serve as a blank screen on which people of vastly different stripes project their own views. As such, I am bound to disappoint some, if not all, of them.”
A. Spencer Fowers, for whom Greg Jones cast an unsolicited write-in vote to fill Seat C on the Utah County Commission. An incumbent was running unopposed, Mr. Jones saw Mr. Fowers, a bright young man who is a Ph D candidate at BYU, in the polling place, and moments later cast his vote.
B. Barack Obama, for whom Greg Jones did not have the opportunity to cast an unsolicited write-in vote to serve as President of the United States.
C. Greg Jones, for whom his classmates did not have the opportunity to cast unsolicited write-in votes for him to be elected Student Body Vice President and President of Damon Runyon Elementary School.
D. Jodi, for whom Greg Jones cast an unsolicited write-in vote for her to serve on the local Board of Education. The previous week Mr. Jones had visited with her husband about school politics, and her husband expressed great confidence in her mastery of school district issues. Mr. Jones had not realized a board seat would be up for election, was familiar with neither candidate on the ballot, so to his knowledge Jodi was the best candidate.
E. Sarah Palin, for whom Greg Jones did not have the opportunity to cast an unsolicited write-in vote to serve as Vice President of the United States.
ANSWER:
B. The quote appears in the excerpt reproduced below from "BRIEFING: Barack Obama - - Explaining the riddle - - The man who has called himself `a blank screen' is about to take centre-stage" (The Economist, Aug 21st 2008) In its October 30 edition The Economist endorsed Obama ("America should take a chance and make Barack Obama the next leader of the free world").
"There remains a mystery about his politics. David Mundell, his most thorough biographer, refers to his `ingenious lack of specificity'. One Democratic activist has called him `a kind of human Rorschach test'. Mr Obama himself confesses that `I serve as a blank screen on which people of vastly different stripes project their own views. As such, I am bound to disappoint some, if not all, of them.'”
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